Tag Archives: Spirit led change

Self-Care is NOT Weak!

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Have you ever been on an airplane and listened to the flight attendant’s instructions? Notice that when they get to the part of the oxygen mask, they tell you that if you are traveling with a child or elderly person, put the mask on yourself first, so that you are then able to put the mask on them?

That is a good analogy in life.

We are often taught that putting ourselves first is pride or selfishness. And in some instances, that is true. However, the older I get, the more I realize that you can’t lump self-care in the selfishness category.

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In 2019 I began a journey on trying to get healthy. I was almost 200 pounds and felt every bit of it. I could not bend over and tie my shoes. I am short and my BMI was in the obese category. Then the pandemic hit and made it much worse, because the facility I went to for cardio shut down, along with everything else. Then my sister passed in early 2021, which facilitated the decline of my father and the insertion of me as a main caregiver. He passed in August of 2022, but in January of 2022, I got serious.

I found a buddy and we kept each other accountable. I started tracking my foods and increased protein in my diet. I did NOT miss workouts. PERIOD. For the first time in my life, I made working out a priority. It was not easy at first. I had outside obligations that would want me here and there and I started saying NO. I endured some mockery – “oh, that’s right…you have to work out again”… and I quietly but firmly said, YES, I DO.

I saw my family practioner, had bloodwork and hormone testing done. This is important because my hormones were all out of whack due to yo yo dieting over and over. I had fatigued adrenals, low metabolism, and my cortisol was over 1200 and should have been no higher than 12. Because I am a person of faith and a positive person, I did not realize how bad my condition was. Looking back at pictures from that time period, I don’t even recognize the person I had become.

I have always said I am going to live a long life. However, when I look around a people I see at the store or talk to people I know and love, most are overweight and miserable. Overweight has been given a stigma to where most people are afraid to address it. But, with all the junk that has been added to our foods, the lifestyle of the instant, and the stress of life, comes obesity if you do not take a proactive stance on your health! I realized, that if I did not make a change, I would not live long, and for as long as I did live, I would not enjoy it!

So then what? I worked out. I changed the way I ate and I did it consistently. I did it when I wanted to and when I did not. CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY. And after about 18 months of cardio and some weight training, I hired a personal trainer to help me with resistance weight training. GAME CHANGER! I also have started getting a minimum of 8k steps a day. When I tell you I feel better, I mean, night and day difference!

I said all of that to say this: me investing the TIME and ENERGY in myself is allowing me now, and will allow me in the future to care for and live life to the fullest with the ones I love and care about. When you feel better, you don’t want to sit on the couch, you don’t need to go to bed before the sun goes down and you have boundless energy to boot.

God created our bodies to heal themselves! Do yourself AND your family a huge favor and invest in your future! Find a buddy! Join a gym! Make better food choices! Look at ingredients in food, supplements and EDUCATE yourself. Educate yourself and really pray and ask God where you are wasting precious time. Educate yourself by reading the Word and finding the truth! It is so important to do this, but that is for another story!

One more thing on educating yourself. I try to read or listen to a podcast on health and wellness a couple times a week. This is so important. I am a Christian, so I already feed my mind and soul on good things as often as possible, keeping my mind on the Word of God and not drama around me. However, in order to make better choices, you must educate yourself on where you want to go. Find someone who is using CLEAN ingredients in eating and supplements and learn from them. This is not something I have done in the past. There is so much more to this, but if you have a one track mind, something will get overlooked, and for me, it was my health. No longer!

Here are some websites and experts that I follow:

http://www.justingredients.us
This gal created CLEAN protein powders and supplements after finding out that her depression induced suicide attempt was due to her body not being nourished and lacking in basic health!

Dr. Gabrielle Lyon https://drgabriellelyon.com/ This gal is a doctor who has done extensive research on the NEED and health factor of resistance training for muscle health! Do you know that nearly ALL of alzheimer’s patients are deficient in muscle mass? That we lose 5-8% of our muscle mass every decade after 30? That if we don’t lift weights that we are more likely to have osteoporosis, and or break hips when we are older? (side note – I was diagnosed in 2012 with severe osteopenia. After a short stint as a vegan (bad idea) I began to eat healthy animal protein (grass fed beef, eggs, etc) and exercise, jumping as often as I could incorporate it) and now I am almost completely out of the range of osteopenia! (along with prayer and positive speaking!) Her tedtalk is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvHfNEX09Iw

on Instagram I follow Dr. James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic; Dr. Paul Saladino, MD @paulsaladinomd Dr. Anthony Chafee, MD @anthomydhaffeemd Dr. Tro @doctortro Dr. Robert Cywes MD phD @carbaddictiondoc; Craig Edwards (PT for people over 40) craig_edwards_ Joan MacDonald @trainwithjoan (who started when she was over 70) and more!

This in no way encompasses my whole journey, so if you have questions, feel free to ask!

Also, for those of you interested in regaining spiritual health, may I suggest these accounts on IG/youtube as well: Jonathan and Adalis Shuttlesworth, @jdshuttlesworth
Andrew Womack @andrewwommack
James Baker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv4jdtMCtdk – my FAV religion breaking sermon on Holy Communion!
Fr Mike Schmitz – https://www.youtube.com/@SundayswithAscension
Dutch Sheets http://www.givehimfifteen.com – praying for America!
Clay Nash http://www.claynash.org – great teaching on the Ekklesia and our authority in Christ!

Who I am, who I was, and who I am becoming…..

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WILLOW

It’s been awhile since I posted last…almost a year actually. I have been having difficulty deciding what my blog will be…..is it about parenting – AFTER the empty nest? Is it about me? Do I include God and my relationship with Him? Because I couldn’t decide, I have been silent. So, after much deliberation I have decided that YES! It is about parenting after the empty nest, it is about me, my thoughts and my feelings, and it will definitely include my relationship with God, because as far as I am concerned, you cannot separate me from Him. So, whether I have one reader or none, it is still “therapy for MY empty nest”.

I have went through a myriad of emotions, changes, and heart situations since the last blog post on my youngest son’s birthday almost a year ago. While, much of it will not be shared on a public blog, I will tell you that it is never too late to change and become the person you were meant to be! It took many months, much soul searching, much humility, a lot of ownership, MUCH forgiveness.. – of myself and others, and a willingness to change and submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t pretty and was, at times, very, very painful.

I remember, early in the process, (late 2013 early 2014) when a person shared with me what they had been praying for me…this person was someone I had NEVER talked to about anything personal, ever, and they began to share with me things the had felt in prayer. And it was basically, that due to the demand and responsibilities I had had put on me as a child, the choices I had made as a result of those demands, and because my heart always wanted to do the “right” thing, I had become a dysfunctional person, that functioned better than most functional people! However, this dysfunction warred against the true me, the person God had in mind, and had planned out when and before I was born! WOW! This was a lot for me to take in. So, I began to submit to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to show me where I was in this process – how do I get out of the entanglements of the choices of my past and where do I even begin?

He showed me a rest stop…….I was at a rest stop. You know, the places along the highway, where you stop during a long trip to refresh yourself, and rest. The place where you go because you need a snack, need to get out and stretch your legs, need to relieve yourself, or need to get some updated directions.(before google, of course!) The thing is, I hadn’t just stopped there to do any of the above, I was there taking care of the rest stop! I was cleaning it, sweeping, picking up trash, cleaning the windows, encouraging the folks there and sharing with them how to get down the road……but I never left the rest stop. It became apparent to me, that I had come to a stop…..I wasn’t going any further until I figured out where it was I needed to go. It went deeper than that – I had been happy there – I was happy to help others get on their way, and I took great pride in keeping that rest stop clean! The problem was, I wasn’t the caretaker of the rest stop! I had just done taken it on. However, when I did realize there was more – I would look around and not have a clue where to even begin or go……I didn’t even remember when I got there or how, but I had been there for some time; several years, actually.

Several weeks later, in worship one night at church, I heard something inside and I heard it loudly. I am not responsible for anyone but me…. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE BUT ME! Oh my! I knew that, but I hadn’t really KNOWN that until that very moment. As I let that sink into my spirit, I saw in my mind’s eye different garments literally flying off me! One was what looked like Napoleon’s coat, a large woman’s Moo Moo, and other garments, that never really fit me! No wonder I always felt like I was walking in sludge when I tried to run! God continued to have people speak to me – out of the blue – people that knew nothing of what I was going through, but always spoke truth to me, and continued to give me pieces to the puzzle of my life. (which is extremely cool, in my opinion – making us need each other, using the body to heal the body)

I still had many months of God removing layer after layer of man made rules, demands, assignments and responsibilities, and as I submitted to Him, He removed them with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. The result: I no longer recognize and barely resemble my former self! :) I love it! I am so much more happy and free! AND – I left the rest stop! ha ha! It is NOT my responsibility to keep it clean, pick up other people’s trash, etc. At first, I was like, “Man, I have wasted so many years…..how will I ever get back on the road I need to be on?” You know what? God has a great detour system! Whereas before, man had put me on a wilderness, rocky road with a inept vehicle, now, I am on a highway in an SUV! And, because I allowed God to touch even the painful parts of my heart, He, I believe, has put me right on the spot where I would have been, had I been on the right road all along. Only God can do that my friend.

I have had to let go of many things that I thought I needed to hold onto. After all, if I didn’t do it, who would????? (poor thinking and actually a form of pride) If it is not my responsibility, or a mandate from the Lord – I HAVE TO LET IT GO AND TRUST GOD TO DEAL WITH THE PEOPLE AND/OR SITUATION. I HAVE TO TRUST HIS WORD. I CAN PRAY – YES, BUT THEN I MUST LEAVE IT ON THE ALTAR. So, I have had to let go of people and the fear of man! I have had to let go of my children and family and realize God loves them more than I do and to trust the foundation they were given! Did I make mistakes? YES! And as I was grieving over time lost and mistakes made one day, God reminded me that He is the God of yesterday, today, and forever, and that as I repent, and submit to Him, not only does He heal my heart, but He can also step back into my past and heal hurts that I caused or remedy mistakes that I made! He can make new memories! HAHA! What a complete, mighty God we serve!

This life, this wonderful life we are given, is designed by our Maker to be abundant. Everyone, and I mean everyone, grows up with some level of dysfunction….we have all been at a rest stop at some point in our lives. And, yes, there are haters, and critics along the way – there are people who will criticize you and judge your actions, and think they know better for you….that is where you must submit all to the Lord. People only see what is going from the outside. It is very easy to tell them what they should and should not do – and face it; we are all guilty of this at some point. I also believe it is vital to have a pastor/Spirit led friend in whom you can trust and confide. There were days, that as long as I knew I was submitted to God and my pastor, it was enough. Had I not known that, I would have crumbled. But, there were days, I simply could not handle anything more….. my pastor was able to speak the words of the Lord to me, reassuring me, with authority that I was OKAY.

Do I slip up now? Uh…..yes LOL – However, the issues no longer are driving me from within, but rather on the outside of my vehicle trying to get my attention. Once I recognize it for what it is, I simply repent, if necessary, and keep on moving on. But many times, I don’t even give it a nod and run it right over! (whoohoo!) And let me tell you, if I can submit to these changes after living this way almost 50 years, you can do it too! God is no respecter of persons! He is faithful to all who call on His name!

Life was meant to be happy. Life was meant to be good. Jesus died that we might have life and life more abundantly. His grace is sufficient and amazing! I refuse to throw out grace because of a few who have perverted it! BALANCE! Jesus was the most balanced human being to ever walk the face of the earth. I accept his grace and I fear His Name! Not fear as – afraid – but in reverence and respect for His ways.

So, I plan to start writing more often and getting this show on the road! LOL – I plan to live my life with carefree abandon of the opinion of man! I plan to live my next 50 years with righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. I plan to live my life to the fullest for the glory of Jesus Christ and His goodness towards me. I plan to grow in my relationships and to strive to become a better version of myself. I plan to be a better wife and friend. And I plan to continue to love my boys and be a woman and a mom that they can be proud of. Outside of salvation, there is no greater gift that I have received than the gift of my wonderful boys who have grown into wonderful men. I am extremely proud of them and so blessed. Lord, thank You for my life. Thank You for loving me enough to be patient for my changes. Thank You for continuing to make the changes You desire. Thank You that You love my boys more than I do. Thank You. Thank You.

motherbird