Betrayal’s Recovery

Over 25 years ago, I experienced a deep betrayal, and it nearly paralyzed me for two years. God had me write a book detailing what He instructed me to do to recover, but I didn’t even release it for about twelve years and that was thirteen years ago! Since then, betrayal has come again, not once, but twice. I have come to figure out, life will bring betrayals. Afterall, Jesus said “offenses will come” Keeping your circle small will not stop the enemy of your soul. The enemy is not people, people are just his tools. And, let’s face it, we have ALL been used by the hand of the enemy.

What I have done is update my book. I updated it in 2018, and just recently. You can find the book on Amazon. But, each betrayal brought forth a prose from my heart. This writing today is going to share those and then at the end I will include the link for my book. If you have a betrayal wound, or know someone who does, I believe it will help them. It literally takes less than 10 minutes a day, but, it works.


“The saddest thing about betrayal, is it never comes from your enemies.” – anonymous


Betrayal’s Truth

They think you’re defensive
You think they’re deceived
So you go forward…..alone.

The pain is great.
Without agreement, you can’t walk side by side
Who is at fault? Only God truly knows
You cry out in prayer, asking for answers
God will You show? Will You tell?
Will we hear…?

Did I hit it? Or did they miss it?
Who is deceived? Disappointment disguises!
Can we, as believers, not see?
For deception is evil, cunning and sly.
When a heart takes the bait
It separates friends, it strains love
Oh that we would hear God’s voice!

So you love your person, you still love your friend
But things are different…
This chasm so deep, this schism so wide
You must walk humility and lay down your rights!
Hard to stay quiet, I understand
We all want agreement,
But don’t do it! Cover your friend!

Father, humble our hearts and speak to us now
Show us oh God, Your will in this matter
Enlighten our hearts, open our eyes
I cry out for truth! Even if it hurts! Show me!
Search my heart Lord- Reveal every lie!
Heart! Get in line! You will deceive me no more!

We need Your truth! And it might be hard to hear!
No one wants to see their mistakes…..
We don’t want to fail, one more time
We don’t want rejection, one more time
We don’t want to hear, I’ve missed it this deep, this great, this long!
We don’t want to think we have hurt our friend…..
The cost of deception is great!
Betrayal hurts
Betrayal wounds,
Failure injures and time does not heal all wounds
Jesus, You are the healer – I need You
I need Your restoring power
and so does my friend.
This is my prayer.
I submit my heart to You God
I will walk in humility
And I will love and forgive my friend.

Written 2018

“I didn’t feel like forgiving, and many times, I did it through tears.” – Kelita Deems,
Betrayed! Healing the Wound; Forgiving the Friend.


Betrayal’s Lies

Out of nowhere it came, a wounding accusation
It hadn’t happened for so long, I wasn’t paying attention.
The wound went deep, the cut was sharp
And I vowed again, no more close to my heart.
But you can’t truly love unless you truly forgive,
You can’t truly love, you can’t truly live,
You have to choose love and it will be a choice.
God! help us to see and hear Your voice.
We are all guilty, so the truth You must show….
We all see through wounds and our own perceptions, I know!
We don’t want to hear that, WE WANT TO BE HEARD
But we must check our heart against the Truth of the Word.
How could this happen, my circle is small? I guard my heart
And yes, I have walls.
But the enemy snuck in, once again through a friend
It hurt my heart and he tried to plant sin
What he intended for my demise, will fall back on his head.
I choose to forgive and choose
Joy instead!

Written 2025


I Choose Joy

How do I release this pain inside of me?
How do I release this hurt that stirs within?
Show me what to do that I may be healed
And become free to love again…
Love again.

Wounds go deep when they’re from a friend.
Sometimes you think the pain will never end.
The tears you cry flood over your soul…
But with the washing of the Word you will become whole – Become whole.

I choose to love, I choose to forgive
I choose joy, I’m choosing to live
I will be free and I will survive
For the God in whom I trust, my soul will revive
Will revive.

Lord I release this anger in my soul
I will not let it burn and gain control
I lay down my rights and I will seek Your face
For the road that is before me begins with Your grace……..

For in life there is joy
In peace there is healing
It’s all in a choice
And I choose restoration
It is my salvation
I choose joy.

Written 2000


https://a.co/d/cw6yTRy

Self-Care is NOT Weak!

Have you ever been on an airplane and listened to the flight attendant’s instructions? Notice that when they get to the part of the oxygen mask, they tell you that if you are traveling with a child or elderly person, put the mask on yourself first, so that you are then able to put the mask on them?

That is a good analogy in life.

We are often taught that putting ourselves first is pride or selfishness. And in some instances, that is true. However, the older I get, the more I realize that you can’t lump self-care in the selfishness category.

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In 2019 I began a journey on trying to get healthy. I was almost 200 pounds and felt every bit of it. I could not bend over and tie my shoes. I am short and my BMI was in the obese category. Then the pandemic hit and made it much worse, because the facility I went to for cardio shut down, along with everything else. Then my sister passed in early 2021, which facilitated the decline of my father and the insertion of me as a main caregiver. He passed in August of 2022, but in January of 2022, I got serious.

I found a buddy and we kept each other accountable. I started tracking my foods and increased protein in my diet. I did NOT miss workouts. PERIOD. For the first time in my life, I made working out a priority. It was not easy at first. I had outside obligations that would want me here and there and I started saying NO. I endured some mockery – “oh, that’s right…you have to work out again”… and I quietly but firmly said, YES, I DO.

I saw my family practioner, had bloodwork and hormone testing done. This is important because my hormones were all out of whack due to yo yo dieting over and over. I had fatigued adrenals, low metabolism, and my cortisol was over 1200 and should have been no higher than 12. Because I am a person of faith and a positive person, I did not realize how bad my condition was. Looking back at pictures from that time period, I don’t even recognize the person I had become.

I have always said I am going to live a long life. However, when I look around a people I see at the store or talk to people I know and love, most are overweight and miserable. Overweight has been given a stigma to where most people are afraid to address it. But, with all the junk that has been added to our foods, the lifestyle of the instant, and the stress of life, comes obesity if you do not take a proactive stance on your health! I realized, that if I did not make a change, I would not live long, and for as long as I did live, I would not enjoy it!

So then what? I worked out. I changed the way I ate and I did it consistently. I did it when I wanted to and when I did not. CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY. And after about 18 months of cardio and some weight training, I hired a personal trainer to help me with resistance weight training. GAME CHANGER! I also have started getting a minimum of 8k steps a day. When I tell you I feel better, I mean, night and day difference!

I said all of that to say this: me investing the TIME and ENERGY in myself is allowing me now, and will allow me in the future to care for and live life to the fullest with the ones I love and care about. When you feel better, you don’t want to sit on the couch, you don’t need to go to bed before the sun goes down and you have boundless energy to boot.

God created our bodies to heal themselves! Do yourself AND your family a huge favor and invest in your future! Find a buddy! Join a gym! Make better food choices! Look at ingredients in food, supplements and EDUCATE yourself. Educate yourself and really pray and ask God where you are wasting precious time. Educate yourself by reading the Word and finding the truth! It is so important to do this, but that is for another story!

One more thing on educating yourself. I try to read or listen to a podcast on health and wellness a couple times a week. This is so important. I am a Christian, so I already feed my mind and soul on good things as often as possible, keeping my mind on the Word of God and not drama around me. However, in order to make better choices, you must educate yourself on where you want to go. Find someone who is using CLEAN ingredients in eating and supplements and learn from them. This is not something I have done in the past. There is so much more to this, but if you have a one track mind, something will get overlooked, and for me, it was my health. No longer!

Here are some websites and experts that I follow:

http://www.justingredients.us
This gal created CLEAN protein powders and supplements after finding out that her depression induced suicide attempt was due to her body not being nourished and lacking in basic health!

Dr. Gabrielle Lyon https://drgabriellelyon.com/ This gal is a doctor who has done extensive research on the NEED and health factor of resistance training for muscle health! Do you know that nearly ALL of alzheimer’s patients are deficient in muscle mass? That we lose 5-8% of our muscle mass every decade after 30? That if we don’t lift weights that we are more likely to have osteoporosis, and or break hips when we are older? (side note – I was diagnosed in 2012 with severe osteopenia. After a short stint as a vegan (bad idea) I began to eat healthy animal protein (grass fed beef, eggs, etc) and exercise, jumping as often as I could incorporate it) and now I am almost completely out of the range of osteopenia! (along with prayer and positive speaking!) Her tedtalk is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvHfNEX09Iw

on Instagram I follow Dr. James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic; Dr. Paul Saladino, MD @paulsaladinomd Dr. Anthony Chafee, MD @anthomydhaffeemd Dr. Tro @doctortro Dr. Robert Cywes MD phD @carbaddictiondoc; Craig Edwards (PT for people over 40) craig_edwards_ Joan MacDonald @trainwithjoan (who started when she was over 70) and more!

This in no way encompasses my whole journey, so if you have questions, feel free to ask!

Also, for those of you interested in regaining spiritual health, may I suggest these accounts on IG/youtube as well: Jonathan and Adalis Shuttlesworth, @jdshuttlesworth
Andrew Womack @andrewwommack
James Baker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv4jdtMCtdk – my FAV religion breaking sermon on Holy Communion!
Fr Mike Schmitz – https://www.youtube.com/@SundayswithAscension
Dutch Sheets http://www.givehimfifteen.com – praying for America!
Clay Nash http://www.claynash.org – great teaching on the Ekklesia and our authority in Christ!

LOOK UP!

Several years ago I was singing in the praise and worship part of a church service and the Lord showed me something that I want to share with you.

I saw a person who had been shipwrecked at sea. They were hunched over a part of the ship that was demolished by whatever storm that had passed through. They were worn out and just floating there, hopelessly and clinging to that wood, that piece of the ship that they had been aboard just before.

All of a sudden, the Lord appeared to them and told them to look up! He said – you have a life jacket on, so you will not drown. He said look over there! And He pointed to land, not too far off. He also reminded the person that the sun was coming up, but if they stayed hunched over that piece of the ship, looking down into the water, they would not see the land or the sun.

He said “I AM YOUR LIFE JACKET, I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DROWN! LOOK UP! WATCH FOR YOUR RESCUE AND SWIM TOWARDS THE SHORE!”

Wow. As I pondered this awhile, I realized that the person adrift on the sea was me! And the ship represented a way of life I had always known, but man, had it blown up! I was clinging to the last bit of that way of life instead of looking for my redemption.

I then realized that I had to let go of that piece of wood, that piece of my life that I had known for so many years and look up! I needed to let go and see the Father and ask for His direction. I needed to swim towards the shore of safety and be watchful for a rescue helicopter to assist me and for the sunlight to guide me.

It was scary! But I could NOT swim if I was holding onto that debris!!! I could only swim if my hands were free! Jesus was my life jacket and He was NOT going to let me drown. But my focus had been on surviving and not wanting to let go of the last of that remnant of what was. And that debris could no longer carry me to safety, it could no longer carry me anywhere.

So, what happened? I looked up! I let that last piece of that shipwreck go and I swam to the shore. Father God was with me each and every stroke. Was it easy? No. But do you know the hardest part? The hardest part was letting go! Once I let go and began to swim, it got easier and easier and by the time I reached the shore I was free! Free and full of joy!

What has become shipwrecked in your life that you need to let go of? LOOK UP! LET GO! SWIM to the shore! What God has for you on the shore is so much greater than what you are leaving behind.

CHOOSE LIFE and LIVE!

When we hear Choose Life, we immediately think of letting babies live, and that is good and true and right. But, there is more to this and this is what God has been showing me! We are to choose life each and every day! Today, I want to look at another aspect of choosing life.

In Deut. 30:19 it says I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, now choose life so that you and your descendants may live.

LIFE – that verse in the Strong’s concordance means:
living, alive, green vegetation, flowing, fresh (of water) lively, active (of man) reviving of the springtime. Sustenance, maintenance, relatives, living things (animal) appetite, community, REVIVAL and RENEWAL.

The word LIVE means:
To have life, to continue in life, to sustain life, to live prosperously, to revive, be quickened (from sickness, discouragement, faintness and death) to preserve alive, to give life, to quicken, refresh, revive,
restore to life, and cause to grow.

Every day we will have many choices to make. And what I hear God saying today is CHOOSE LIFE in every situation. What are you dealing with? Choose the option that brings life, that is sustenance, that refreshes a healthy appetite. (Dead people don’t eat!) Choose things and options that refresh, revive and restore to life and cause to grow.

Are you believing for family? Good news. Look at the verse – the latter part says choose life so that you AND YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL LIVE. WHOA – so we could say it this way -Choose life so that you and your descendants will have life, continue in life, will be life sustained, will live prosperously, be revived, be quickened from sickness, discouragement, faintness and death, SO THAT YOU AND YOUR DESCENDANTS will be preserved, refreshed, revived and caused to grow!

YOUR CHOICES AFFECT YOUR FAMILY!

Your choices affect your finances, and the finances of your family. When we, as parents, make LIFE CHOICES, we can put a demand on this word that our descendants will live and prosper!

What are you facing today? No doubt, some hard choices, but friend, let me encourage you to CHOOSE LIFE. Even in the hard things. Even if it means a tough time for a minute. It is better to choose God’s way, and bring restoration, than to indulge our flesh, emotions and soul and the end is death and destruction. Our soul will lie to us to have comfort NOW – but let the uncomfortableness of the hard choice be a down payment of the restoration of life that is coming.

CHOOSE LIFE so that you and your descendants may LIVE!

Rejoice and be of GOOD CHEER???

Due to Daylight Savings Time implemented a few days ago, I am also waking up earlier. Today, I used that extra time to sing and pray and take communion. Then, as I was driving to work today, I was praying and talking with the Lord as I do pretty much every day.

I got to work and found myself in a pretty good mood, and immediately, the thoughts of all that is wrong came flooding into my mind… this person I love is sick and needs prayer, this friend requested I pray and share anything the Lord would say to me regarding the request, family concerns, world news, on and on and for a moment, it almost pulled me down! However, I snapped out of it and turned my eyes back on the answer. JESUS!

Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite verses in the Word of God: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Notice, it does NOT say, when all is well, think on these things, or try to imagine these things. No, no, no! It says, FINALLY….why finally? Well, let’s look at what it says prior to this verse in Phil 4:4-7…

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It appears that the Apostle Paul was exhorting the Philippians to stay strong in their afflictions. He was encouraging unity and humility in their hard times. What can we learn from this today?

Here is my thought: never in our lives will everything be perfect on this earth. If the enemy can keep us focused on what is wrong, then he can keep us defeated and full of unbelief. Because, whatever you behold is what you become. (2 Cor. 3:18) If we focus on the issue, all that is wrong, we will be defeated, discouraged and a poor witness to the goodness and grace of God. One of the biggest lies I ever perceived was that “once you become a Christian, all is well”. Not so! Oftentimes, they seem to get worse. The truth is, once you accept Jesus, and you submit your life to Him, ALL things will work together for our good! (Romans 8:28)

My other thought process that I had to fight through has been this: all my life I have been a fixer, which would also make me a worrier. I often took the responsibility on myself of others’ issues and it wore me down. Therefore, I was always thinking of how the situation could be solved. Oh, I would pray, but I would not give it to God and trust Him. This caused me much sorrow and frustration. Then, one day, I read Phil. 4:8, and realized that it was not a suggestion, AND that God knew when He wrote this through the Apostle Paul, that things were going to be bad at times, and there would be issues. Notice, He doesn’t even address that part. He simply says (basically) THINK ON GOOD THINGS.

2023… war is all around, threats of violence, financial collapse, inflation is high, family situations, illnesses, strife, yada, yada, yada… What does the word say?

REJOICE in the Lord always – and again I SAY REJOICE! Don’t be anxious about the things that are wrong, but BY PRAYER AND PETITION, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. (and when you do, ) the peace of God, will blow past your mind and guard your heart and mind in the Lord! and FINALLY, (take your thoughts captive) and whatsoever is good, noble, trustworthy, and of a good report, THINK ON THESE THINGS!

You are in faith when you do this! You are also in denial…denying the enemy the right to take over your life and your thoughts. IT IS YOUR CHOICE! We must stay in faith! We must trust our God!

Rejoice! and do it again!
Refuse to be anxious or worry!
PRAY and DECREE what is troubling you to our Lord!
Be Thankful! (Thank Him in advance for all that He is doing and has done!)
REST in His PEACE! and then because you have done these things…
THINK ON GOOD THINGS and keep your focus on the Goodness of God!

It is not wrong or irresponsible of you to be cheerful and have peace when things are crazy all around you. It is actually the way of faith. Romans 2:4 tell us that is it the goodness of God that draws men to repent. If you are fearful and fretting like the rest of the world, why would they want to join us? But, the peace on you will be a draw to their hearts!

John 16:33 says – I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world.”

That word cheer in the Strong’s concordance means to be of good courage, to be of good comfort and be cheerful. Christians should be the happiest people on earth, regardless of circumstances. (I am talking to myself, here, too!) We should be the ones with comforting words and full of courage! We know the One who will get us through, protect us and give us victory, here and in the life to come. WIN-WIN!

Jesus, through Paul, told us that we will have troubles in life, but that He has overcome the world. Therefore, we should be able to access and walk in peace and heart and mind because of this. Fix your thoughts on Him today, on good things. Be of good cheer, courage and comfort. Our God has overcome the world, and if You are a Christian, He lives on the inside of you. Access this today. Think on good things. Expect good things. He’s got us! Whatever may come, we will overcome and we can be of good cheer knowing He will get us through!

Why Can’t You Expect Good Things?

Sometimes it is hard being a person who is so Black and White. 🧐It can be good, BUT, if you get conditioned to always see/expect negative, it can be a hard and negative life.

This has been me for YEARS. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, telling myself disappointments don’t matter, that it was my fault anyway, I will try harder, etc. On and on…..

Lately, I have been thinking about this and it has caused me to reflect on how I got that way and how am I able to see so much clearer now? I went back 5-7 years…

One day on my lunch break, I was praying about a GOOD THING and I was fretting it would turn out to have bad effects. All of a sudden, I heard the Lord say to me “Why can’t you expect good things?” And it dawned on me, that if I believed He orchestrated this good thing (which He did) then why couldn’t I trust Him to see it through?! After all, the Bible says, He that began a good work, shall complete it! (Phil 1:6)

So, that day I started to work on changing my thinking. Looking back even further, I now realize that God started me on a journey two years prior when He told me basically to purpose to be thankful in all things. I did that, and it changed my entire life. (see blog post https://kelitadeems.wordpress.com/2018/06/27/thankfulness-changed-my-life/)

Back to GOOD THINGS!

One of my favorite scriptures is Phil 4:8 – whatever things are lovely, true, noble, of good report, think on these things. So I cut out some other stuff…. tv shows, NEWS, etc. I incorporated this scripture front and center and about the same time I was learning to expect good things, I started praying – Lord, show me truth, even if it hurts, even if it makes me angry. Without truth, I have nothing. Show me truth. And, there were a couple times a new instruction would come as a result of that prayer. Nothing overbearing, just a – do this and not that. OR do this here like you do there. And I thought – Ok. I mean, we all have blind spots, right? But just this week I realized, every time I have prayed that prayer, I was expecting an admonishment, a correction or a flaw of mine to be pointed out. With the reason being if there was an area that I was not living in truth, then I had to be doing something wrong, right??? It would be MY fault and I would need to deal with it.

Today: in the last several months, I have begun to see truth that I have never in my life seen before and it shocked me because it was GOOD! Overwhelming and almost too good to be true, yet, there it was, right in the word of God. This truth did not say to me that I was doing a bad thing, or was at fault, or even condemned!

Wait, how could I have read this Gospel before and not seen the goodness, not seen the truth? BECAUSE my eyes had a filter of always expecting something to be bad, to always be corrected, to always have failed or not done something right. And this is because I have allowed religion and religious people to beat me up all of my life and mask the goodness of the Gospel, or at the very least put it out of my reach, not attainable. What truth? The truth of my true identity and the full benefits given to me as I accept my identity in Christ. The lightbulb? Matthew 11:30, Jesus says My yoke is easy and My burden is light. The word EASY in the Strong’s concordance means: virtuous, good, useful, manageable, mild, pleasant, KIND and benevolent. Jesus is saying My yoke is virtuous, good (for you) mild, pleasant, KINDNESS and benevolent! WOW WOW WOW – Why oh why do we make it so hard? Because we get caught in the trap of religion instead of knowing our identity as His child. A good parent has good things for their children and even when they discipline, they correct in love and kindness! That’s why in Romans 2:4 it says it is the GOODNESS of God that draws men to repentance! YES!

As I pondered this, I realized when the Lord said Why can’t you expect good things?, that He was asking much more than expectations to situations, He was asking me to expect good things from HIM as a Father and me being His child. He is a good Father and He is for me. What an awesome God. My journey is now on a different approach to life – I have a Father who loves me and is for me. He’s got me. I will honor Him, but I am not afraid and I expect good things! Even in the middle of all that is life and regardless of what I see. It will all work for my good! (Romans 8:28)

Changing my thinking, asking for TRUTH has changed my life. And you shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)

“I am clothed with strength (confidence) and dignity, (I KNOW my identity as a daughter of the Most High) and I laugh without fear (or expecting bad things in and) of the future! Proverbs 31:25.

I Expect Good Things!

My Dad

My Dad went to heaven on August 27, 2022, after a long battle. My dad was the happiest guy I knew and loved Jesus more than anyone I know.

This is my tribute to him.

My dad is very well known in our area…. Mainly as Mr. Kroger and a preacher, but also known as an encourager.  I wanted to share how me and my family know him.

My dad told us stories of growing up without much money.  His dad was a janitor and his mother stayed home, but 40 years after they passed, he still goes to their graves to remember them.  He loved his parents, especially his mother, dearly.  See, his mom encouraged him in his walk with God and his call to preach.

My dad knew he was called to preach at the age of 14…preached his first sermon at 16 and was ordained at age 23.  He married my mom when he was 20, and by the time he was 27, he had four kids.  It’s only fitting he married a preacher’s daughter!

My dad went to work for Kroger at age 16, and never left.  He is the second longest employee for them and pretty proud of that.  59 ½ years.  When my dad moved from the store in Vienna to the store in Belpre, over 80 customers followed him.  He wore many hats there, held many positions, but his favorite was cashier.  Why?  He loved people.  He loved making them smile.  If they didn’t smile, he would take it as a challenge.  Many times, he would pay for people’s groceries who came up short.  He always kept quarters in his pocket for kiddies and often they would ask to stand with Mr. Wilson while their moms shopped because he made them feel special. 

On Senior Citizen day, his check-out line was the longest and people did not care.  When other registers opened they would respond, it’s ok, I want to see Jim.  I remember one time, him telling of the lady who was a regular customer.  She came in one morning rather down, and she said, I had to come and see you today because I knew you would make me smile.  Always smiling, always happy, and always a joke to tell!  That’s my dad.  He said to me once, when I did, you will see a smile on my face because I know where I am going! That was my dad.  Never a cuss word did I ever hear from him.  He truly set a good example of a loyal, kind, generous Christian man.

As a preacher with four kids…well, we always had to sit still (no kid’s church back then) and be quiet.  A tough feat, especially when he was the one doing the preaching!  My dad was long-winded and usually preached out of the Old Testament.  As kids we were like – oh no!  Dad is preaching today!  I remember many times him sitting with his Bible and concordance, or he would steal away in our one bathroom to get away to prepare his sermon.  I remember him preaching, pacing back and forth and usually there was a shout of Well Glory!

When I was 6 or 7 we went to Kentucky one summer to stay with a family so he could hold revival there.  We had to walk across the creek to get to the church!  That is how I got started singing in church.  I knew the Old Rugged Cross by the time I was 18 months old.  So, when dad went to preach, they would call the Little Wilson girl to come sing and sing I did.  I am still singing today.  One particular night, when dad gave the altar call, the man next door heard.  See, there was no AC and the windows of the church were open.  The man was an alcoholic and drank all the time.  However, he heard the call and came over to the church and knelt at the altar.  He got up sober.  God was with my dad.

Me and Dad Easter 1967 and Summer 2019

We were in church every time the doors were open, and we are better for it.  On a cashier’s pay, he and mom made sure we all got to play in whatever sports we wanted to, go to 4H camp, and get cars in high school.  We were taught hard work, to respect our elders and the Bible.  No better way!

My dad was a huge cut up.  He loved to pick on you with great love.  We used to have sock fights and oh those wonderful marble games.  It is a family game where usually my parents played with their friends the men vs the women.  Good times with Mister Bee Chips and RC!  And, if you were playing Rook, you definitely wanted him as a partner.  All the grandkids loved playing games with their paps.

And as a grandpa?  PAPS as he is affectionately called, you couldn’t ask for a better one.  My boys have such fond memories of being in high school and spending the night…having man talk with him or him fixing food for them and their buddies, always supporting them in whatever they did.  He would take a week of vacation during Kirsten’s spring break so she could stay with them. As a little girl he would let her sit on the arm of his chair while they watched game shows together and she would give him crazy hair.   He loved playing greedy with Wesley, fixing All American chili or burgers for me and my siblings.  He always loved hearing about the accomplishments as they got older, seeing pictures of Allison, Stephanie and Libby and their kids!  He was one proud Paps!

After my Preacher grandma passed, he carried her church for several years and after it was shut down, he encouraged many on FB.  Once he was no longer able to do that, we got so many messages asking where is Jim?  I miss his encouraging words!  One lady even came to the house and told him “I know Jesus because of you!”   We will never know how many people he touched, that touched others…. Only God knows.  But I know this, many people are better off for knowing my dad.

Today, as I am writing this, I am doing it in preparation for when the day comes we need these words.  I have started to grieve as I am watching my dad slowly slip away and I know it won’t be long. As I reached out to a friend in Texas, that does not know my dad, but has been praying for him for a while at my request, she sent me these words….

“Your dad is a saint and his coming home is very weighty in heaven.  You are preparing but so is heaven.  He will receive a hero’s welcome!  I sense this in my heart”

WOW – when she said that, I thought of the scripture, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.  My dad never filled a stadium, or had his name on TV, but he was kind to people.  He loved them, and shared Jesus with them.  I am sure he will be as surprised as anyone, because he doesn’t see himself that way, but perhaps, that is what true heroes do.

The sky outside my dad’s house as he was transitioning to Heaven!

My dad may not have given me money or fame, but he gave me much more …he gave me Jesus.  I am who I am today, in part because of him.  For that, I am eternally grateful.

And since I started singing in church before my dad preached, I thought it only fitting that I sing at his last sermon, a song that is truly what he could sing right now.  (I recorded Blessed Assurance)

AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, I was devastated when the recording cut off during his service and it was not all played. As I asked a question of a good friend, Steve Schultz, of Elijah List, he was blessed to learn of my dad and did a write up and included my recording for Elijah List FB and Breaking Christian News website. The link is here: https://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=35988&fbclid=IwAR1cO5Dmo56 The audio recording is at the bottom of the article.

God is so faithful….. I was distraught over people not hearing at the service, and God found a way to honor my dad that would bless my heart! I am grateful!

Out of Order…..

We all have in our minds a picture, an idea of how we think our lives will play out. Being the oldest of four children, we always thought it would be our parents who would go before us – after all, that is how it is supposed to be, right? They bring us into the world, and we help usher them out. Cycle of life. THAT was what I was preparing for, as much as I could prepare.

Then the unthinkable happened and my sister went early! SHE GOT OUT OF ORDER and now everything in our original six is messed up.

My sister, Sherri Lavonne Wilson Rasmussen, passed on January 4th of this year after a courageous battle with MS and then because of that Covid Pneumonia. And so we mourn her loss.

She got out of order. I mean, she is supposed to help me when our parents die. She is the one who helps me when we have inner family situations, she was a confidante and a friend. She got things in my life that no one else did because she lived them with me. We had inside jokes and secrets. We could tick each other at the drop of a hat, but we loved fierce and you best not mess with either of us, or you would get it from the other one!

My sister and I were not always close, but yet we were always SISTERS, if that makes sense. A couple of summers ago, through a very transparent post on FB, she had an AHA moment and realized something that had put an “unknown” wedge between us in our thinking. I remember the day I got the text from her with this epiphany and I was blown away, yet THRILLED because I knew then that we had overcome something and our lives would never be the same. We were both excited at the possibilities that lie ahead of us, but she got out of order.

MS is a horrible disease, and I wish I had understood more. My sister, now wanting sympathy and being a strong woman, kept a huge part of her pain a secret. There are so many things all of us would have differently had we known, but we did not and now she left out of order.

Some of my favorite memories are how we were always ready to be against “the boys” when we were little – like no boys allowed in our rooms or being aggravated that they didn’t have to do the dishes. How we would talk about cute boys, or dance in our rooms, or just make up goofy names. She was Mable and I was Hazel – we were the McGillicutty’s. (no clue!) We would make up secret stories behind songs, wore the heck out of my little cassett player recording songs during Kasey Kasum’s top 40 on Saturdays. We dressed alike for church at times and then later she would sneak my clothes after I left for school.

She adored my boys. She was the best babysitter and always cheered them on in their sports or endeavors in life. For several years we took family beach vacations together and we have such great memories. We are having our videos made into DVD’s, but I can’t watch them with her because she went out of order. We won’t get to share grandbabies together or our older years, our parent’s passing, or crank on our brothers in fun. While I mourn the passing, I also mourn the future of what will not be – all because she got out of order.

In the last couple years, we talked more and more about the goodness of God and the hopes and dreams we had for them and for the future. She loved her kids with everything in her. She loved their dogs. She was their biggest cheerleader and never wavered in her support for them. One of the last times we texted she quoted a scripture to me and I was like – huh? and she wrote back and said, yes I mean that, I am not being sarcastic! LOL I loved that.

She told me things that God was revealing to her. WOW – I was blown away, and thankful at the same time. Because with God, she was NOT out of order!

Now, I KNOW she is cheering us on as we continue our lives. I am so thankful she is no longer in pain and alive and free. I know she declares over her children! My children! Our lives! I am thankful I will see her again. She is more alive now than ever and knows all of the mysteries we wish we did.

I hate the thought of her not being with us when we celebrate our parents in June, or our Christmas gatherings. See my sister and her family had their family Christmas a couple days early always – just so we could all be together on Christmas Eve – ALWAYS. Until last year, when she was in the hospital, we had never been apart. UGH – I hate that she went out of order.

Sherri – I hope you finally know just how much you were and are loved….how beautiful you are and always were. I hope you know we are doing our best as a family to miss you and let you go at the same time. We love your kids and Jim and we are doing our best to be there for them for whatever they need. Always! Until we meet again, and girl, when we do, we will have lots of catching up to do! I love you my sweet, sassy sister, even if you went out of order.

My sister and my dad, who as of August 22, are now in heaven together!

Do Not Fret!

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 37 – I especially like verse 4-6 – Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and He will do this – He will cause your righteousness to shine like the dawn and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun! What promises! However, as I was reading Psalm 37 today, the word FRET stuck out to me. It is mentioned three times; verse 1, 7 and 8.

Ps. 37:1 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Three times the Lord is telling us DO NOT FRET. First he says not to fret when the wicked succeed in their ways – basically because it’s only temporary and they will get their just reward. But the third time it says Do Not Fret – it caught my attention because it says “it leads only to evil”. Verse 9 goes on to say this – 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil. God is saying that when we fret because of the prosperity of the wicked, it will make us angry and lead us to evil. That makes me wonder how. After all, God loves justice so we as Christians love justice too. Justice is when the “bad guy gets caught” and the good guy is blessed right? But – that is God’s job and it is NOT for us to worry about or be concerned with. I looked up the word fret in the dictionary and here is what I found:

FRET: to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, to torment; irritate, annoy, or vex; to cause corrosion; gnaw into something: acids that fret at the strongest metals.; to wear away or consume by gnawing, friction, rust, corrosives, etc……..ahh, who or what does that sound like?

One of Satan’s names is tormentor. He loves to irritate, annoy and vex your spirit. Could it be that when we fret, especially since we have NO control, we give him place in our lives? In Ephesians 4:27 it says and do not give the devil a foothold. A foothold is a place that you look for when you are trying to climb something – a way to get where you want. Also, notice that it says that fretting causes corrosion, an acid that frets the strongest metals, to wear away by gnawing, friction, corrosives, etc. What is it that a child of God is to put on every day? The whole Armor of God. The helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, shodding our feet with the gospel of peace, girding our loins with truth, the breastplate of righteousness, and the sword of the Spirit. When we fret, it allows our armor to be corroded, worn away and rusted, it causes our minds to be vexed and our souls to be irritated and tormented. This is NOT the plan of God!

Isaiah 26:3 says – He will keep you in perfect peace if you mind is upon Him. Philippians 4:8 says whatever is true, noble, praiseworthy, lovely, beautiful, of a good report THINK ON THESE THINGS. Joshua 1:8 says do not let the book of the law depart form you mouth but meditate on it day and night and you will be successful! Even Jesus Himself said – can you add one day to your life by worrying? We have got to learn to cast our care! Cast your care upon the Lord for He cares for you. What do you do when a sinful person you work with gets the promotion you deserve? Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles. Cast your care and know that promotion comes from Him and He will promote you in due time. Your child is living like a heathen? Pray that they be surrounded by the goodness of God for it is the goodness of God that draws men to repentance. Give them to God and spend your day in praise! Need healing? Need money? Need God to intervene in a situation? Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles – He will hear your faintest cry!!! Everytime you are tempted to fret – ask the Holy Spirit to remind you to pray and praise! Praise? Yes! As Pastor Brian says – you are not going to hell!!!!! Give it to God in prayer, then Praise Him that HE is taking care of it and that You are not responsible. There is great freedom in knowing you are not responsible for the outcome – your job is to keep your peace. Exodus 14:14 – The LORD shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. Hallelujah!

Let’s pray – Father – we come to you today and repent of every time we have succumbed to fretting and given the enemy a way to erode our armor. Lord, You said in Your word that YOU will fight our battles that we needed to hold our peace. Today, we commit to do just that. We hold our peace by declaring that You are God and there is no other. That You are for us, therefore who can be against us! We give to You this day, every situation that has kept us from walking in the peace of God – every child, every spouse, every job, every relationship, every problem and we thank You that You care for us and we trust You to answer in Your way and time. Father in Romans 15:5 You said YOU give us the power of patient endurance – the patience we need to outlast our enemy and we lay hold of that today and employ that Scripture in our lives. Thank You for always making a way for us to have victory in every situation. You, are awesome and we praise Your name!

Take off the Grave Clothes….

I began to hear this in church last night 3.25.15…..

“Take off the grave clothes! Take off the grave clothes! Take off the clothes of the dead – dead works, dead religion and the dead things you   have been delivered out of! The things you  refuse to give up are grave clothes, DEAD things and they stink! They smell. It is a stench in my nostrils. This smell manifests itself in frustration, anger, depression, and every evil work that it can. It brings DEATH. It IS death!

Some of you  have already been unwrapped from layers and layers  of “dead cloth” – layers of false religion, works mentality, wrong ways of thinking, serving, doing, being, and you  continue to go back to that damp, dark, dirty grave and try to put those clothes back on!  You  stink!  And you  wonder why there is no joy flowing in your life!… wonder why there is no life in your words!  You are carrying around dead men’s clothing and burial cloths!

Some of you are carrying around mantles and ideas of dead relatives and their religion…their idea for you – not Mine!  They stink too!  Would you carry a corpse around?  WOULD YOU CARRY A DEAD BODY PART AROUND? NO!  But, you do it everyday in the spirit realm and it stinks!  You look like the walking dead – and there is no life in it.  However, It is not enough to throw these things down, it is not enough to walk away from them, for as a  fool returns to his folly, so will you return to these dead things.  You must burn them! Burn these cloths in the consuming fire of My presence!  Let me burn these dead desires, false responsibilities, false mantles, rules of man and dead works, let me burn these out of you once and for all.

I am LIFE!  I am PEACE!  I am JOY!  If you are going to walk in the fullness of My joy, and My Spirit, you must walk in LIFE.  Cast of the dead clothing of the past, and clothe yourself in Me, in the armor of God and My righteousness, says the Lord, and I will give you peace and joy”.

… then today, I (Kelita) began to think about dead things – dead things on the side of the road – it attracts vultures, bugs, maggots, vermin.  It is a breeding ground for disease, and it truly does SMELL.

FATHER!  Show us our blind spots!  Show us if we are carrying around dead works!  Show us the things we have been delivered from only to run back and gather them again- thinking we need them, thinking it is our identity – thinking it is a part of who we are!  Re-sensitize us to holiness!  Forgive us for the stench that we have carried around – some by choice, some by blindness, but forgive us!  Your Word says if confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us and CLEANSE us from ALL unrighteousness! (1John 1:9) We repent and we will submit to Your holy fire for the cleansing process.  Thank You for loving us enough to set us free – over and over again.  What an awesome God You are!