We all have in our minds a picture, an idea of how we think our lives will play out. Being the oldest of four children, we always thought it would be our parents who would go before us – after all, that is how it is supposed to be, right? They bring us into the world, and we help usher them out. Cycle of life. THAT was what I was preparing for, as much as I could prepare.

Then the unthinkable happened and my sister went early! SHE GOT OUT OF ORDER and now everything in our original six is messed up.

My sister, Sherri Lavonne Wilson Rasmussen, passed on January 4th of this year after a courageous battle with MS and then because of that Covid Pneumonia. And so we mourn her loss.

She got out of order. I mean, she is supposed to help me when our parents die. She is the one who helps me when we have inner family situations, she was a confidante and a friend. She got things in my life that no one else did because she lived them with me. We had inside jokes and secrets. We could tick each other at the drop of a hat, but we loved fierce and you best not mess with either of us, or you would get it from the other one!

My sister and I were not always close, but yet we were always SISTERS, if that makes sense. A couple of summers ago, through a very transparent post on FB, she had an AHA moment and realized something that had put an “unknown” wedge between us in our thinking. I remember the day I got the text from her with this epiphany and I was blown away, yet THRILLED because I knew then that we had overcome something and our lives would never be the same. We were both excited at the possibilities that lie ahead of us, but she got out of order.

MS is a horrible disease, and I wish I had understood more. My sister, now wanting sympathy and being a strong woman, kept a huge part of her pain a secret. There are so many things all of us would have differently had we known, but we did not and now she left out of order.

Some of my favorite memories are how we were always ready to be against “the boys” when we were little – like no boys allowed in our rooms or being aggravated that they didn’t have to do the dishes. How we would talk about cute boys, or dance in our rooms, or just make up goofy names. She was Mable and I was Hazel – we were the McGillicutty’s. (no clue!) We would make up secret stories behind songs, wore the heck out of my little cassett player recording songs during Kasey Kasum’s top 40 on Saturdays. We dressed alike for church at times and then later she would sneak my clothes after I left for school.

She adored my boys. She was the best babysitter and always cheered them on in their sports or endeavors in life. For several years we took family beach vacations together and we have such great memories. We are having our videos made into DVD’s, but I can’t watch them with her because she went out of order. We won’t get to share grandbabies together or our older years, our parent’s passing, or crank on our brothers in fun. While I mourn the passing, I also mourn the future of what will not be – all because she got out of order.

In the last couple years, we talked more and more about the goodness of God and the hopes and dreams we had for them and for the future. She loved her kids with everything in her. She loved their dogs. She was their biggest cheerleader and never wavered in her support for them. One of the last times we texted she quoted a scripture to me and I was like – huh? and she wrote back and said, yes I mean that, I am not being sarcastic! LOL I loved that.

She told me things that God was revealing to her. WOW – I was blown away, and thankful at the same time. Because with God, she was NOT out of order!

Now, I KNOW she is cheering us on as we continue our lives. I am so thankful she is no longer in pain and alive and free. I know she declares over her children! My children! Our lives! I am thankful I will see her again. She is more alive now than ever and knows all of the mysteries we wish we did.

I hate the thought of her not being with us when we celebrate our parents in June, or our Christmas gatherings. See my sister and her family had their family Christmas a couple days early always – just so we could all be together on Christmas Eve – ALWAYS. Until last year, when she was in the hospital, we had never been apart. UGH – I hate that she went out of order.

Sherri – I hope you finally know just how much you were and are loved….how beautiful you are and always were. I hope you know we are doing our best as a family to miss you and let you go at the same time. We love your kids and Jim and we are doing our best to be there for them for whatever they need. Always! Until we meet again, and girl, when we do, we will have lots of catching up to do! I love you my sweet, sassy sister, even if you went out of order.